Written by Misty of Myu Corner
The following are errors that I found in the first printing of Volume 5 of Kodansha USA’s English release of the Sailor Moon manga. They are divided into sections for writing errors (presented in a table), possible issues on multiple pages, honorific issues, inconsistencies/continuity errors, and miscellaneous errors (presented as bulleted lists).
I am not in any way affiliated with Kodansha USA, Del Rey, William Flanagan, or any other person or entity involved in the translation, production, or publication of the volume critiqued here. I also do not mean these critiques as libel in any way, shape, or form, and hope that the persons and entities involved in the translation, production, or publication of the volume critiqued here will not take it as such.
(Awkward writing, grammar & syntax errors, etc)
|Possible Replacement||Tokyopop Translation*||Miss Dream translation|
|“Oh, for cripes sakes!”
|“Oh for Pete’s sake”
or something similar
|“Arrrgh!”||“This is really p***ing me off!”|
|“and all within are doomed to depart the land of the living”
|“and anyone imprisoned there will surely die”
or something similar
|“You know that the person in that cell is no longer of this world”||“Those that were locked there are only corpses now”|
|“We ought to hurry up and just get rid of it”
|“We should just get rid of it”||“I don’t like that stone cell…”||“That prison…I don’t like the sound of it. We should do something about it.”|
|“My brothers don’t understand”
|“My brother doesn’t understand”
Saphir only has one brother, last time I checked.
|“My brother doesn’t understand”||“My brother doesn’t understand”|
|“but all of the universe will be within your gasp”
Noted by Moonkitty.net
|A rather funny typo. Should be “grasp,” not “gasp.”||“Not only that beautiful planet, but the entire universe”||“but the entire universe will be yours!”|
|“You fearsome woman!”
(p. 27 & 28)
|Odd word choice. Maybe “You annoying woman” or something similar would work better.
“Fearsome” means “causing fear; causing awe or respect; afraid, timid” [Dictionary.com for iPhone]
Oh look, Tokyopop used “fearsome” too.
|“You hateful woman”|
|“Now I can!…Here I can!””
|A little vague, though somewhat clarified on page 31 by the phrase “I can transform!”||“Now! In this place…”||“But I can do it! Right here, right now!”|
|“You’re a coward, huh.”
|Needs a question mark. “You’re a coward, huh?”||“Coward.”||“What a coward…”|
|“Here and there in this area between space-time, where concepts such as distance and direction do not apply, lie fearsome dark pits”
|“Distance and direction do not apply here. Dark, dangerous pits lie everywhere.”||“There is no concept of distance or direction here in the fourth dimension.”||“In space, black holes and wormholes can open up at any time without any warning.”|
|“the far reaches of the area between space-time””
|“the far reaches of space-time”||“the far reaches of the fourth dimension”||“Since traveling through space-time is forbidden, no one has ever gone that way before.”|
|“God is so mean!”
|A little childish-sounding. Maybe “It’s not fair!” or “Why, God?” would be better. (“It’s not fair!” would probably be more in character for Usagi).||“God’s plans are difficult…”||“God is mocking me”
Interesting wording. More appropriate than the others in my opinion.
|“the Small Lady”
|“Small Lady”||“She takes Luna P with her wherever she goes…”||“But she’s always brought Luna P with her, no matter where she goes.”|
|“The power of the ‘Legendary Silver Crystal’ has acted as a trigger to suddenly accelerate the fusion reaction”
|“The Silver Crystal’s power has suddenly accelerated the planet’s fusion reaction.”||“The power of the Silver Imperium Crystal triggered a radical acceleration of the fusion reaction.”||“The power of the Silver Crystal sped up the reactor speed, and the whole mechanism began to meltdown.”|
|“With the power of the ‘Legendary Silver Crystal’ and that last explosion…”
|“The Silver Crystal’s power and that last explosion…”||“The Silver Imperium Crystal and the explosion ignited”||“The power of the Silver Crystal caused a huge explosion”|
|“This ‘Legendary Silver Crystal’ that I finally obtained along with Rabbit”
|“This Silver Crystal that Rabbit gave me”||“I captured it along with Rabbit, but it could just be a lump of glass.”||“The Silver Crystal. Now that I have Rabbit on my side I can cause even more chaos with this gem.”|
|“I’ll quickly get the two ‘Legendary Silver Crystals’ for you”
|“I’ll get those Silver Crystals for you.”||“I will capture both. It will be easy.”||“I will present the two Silver Crystals to you at once”|
|“into that planet Earth”
|“into that planet”||“into Earth”||“to Earth”|
|“I’m also greedy”
|Not sure what to suggest here. I guess “selfish” is a better word than “greedy” here. I think Usagi is trying to imply that she’s greedy in the sense of wanting time with Chibiusa, but I’m not sure.||“I must be greedy…”||“…I feel pretty selfish, too.”|
|“And the house without Chibi-Usa…is lonely”
|“And it’s kinda lonely here…without Chibiusa”||“Without Rini this house…feels empty.”||“Without Chibiusa around it’s pretty lonely here.”|
|“It’s Usagi. I don’t know, but somehow it seems like Usagi’s really pretty. …it surprised me a bit.”
|A weird sentence overall. I think Usagi’s mom’s a little lost for words here. Not sure what to suggest.||“I was just thinking…Bunny looked so pretty just now…I was surprised.”||“I was looking and I got to thinking, she’s really blossomed lately. She looks so beautiful…it caught me off guard, is all.”|
|“Diana, the day is coming when that little princess will eventually become your master”
|“Diana, one day that little princess will be your master”||“Diana, that small princess will one day become your mistress”||“Diana, the day that the small princess becomes your master is coming closer and closer.”|
|“You didn’t forget about me did you?”
|Needs a comma. “You didn’t forget about me, did you?”||“Have you forgotten me?”||“What, have you forgotten about me already?”|
|“I can’t stand that I have to stay put and just wait here…”
|“That I have to just stay here and wait…I can’t stand it!”||“What’s going on beyond that door?! Can I just wait here…”||“Is something happening on the other side of the door?! But I have to stay here alone to guard it…”|
|“You must not move time”
|This is when Queen Serenity is listing Pluto’s first taboo. It seems rather vague. According to A Second Chance for the Sailor Moon Manga, the original Japanese does actually say “move time,” though.
Still, this seems too literal of a translation for me, since, as I understand it, this taboo refers to crossing time — which would make sense, because if Pluto isn’t supposed to leave the Space-Time Door, she shouldn’t be time-traveling either, right?
|“First, time travel must not be allowed.”||“First, you must never cross through time”|
|“…were never worth anything to that planet, huh”
|Needs a question mark. “…were never worth anything to that planet, huh?”||“we had no worth at all before that planet?”||“tricked into thinking that we were working for the benefit of the planet, that our lives had purpose”|
|“The place you want to go is the place you have to go!”
|Awkward sentence. Possible replacement: “If you really want to, you must!”
or something similar
|“You must go when you want to!”||“You’ve got to help the others!”|
|“Give back the old Chibi-Usa!”
|“Give Chibiusa back!”||“Give me back the original Rini!”||“Go back to being yourself, Chibiusa!”|
|“You will likely cause your own death…”
“…Cause…her own death…”(p. 155)
|“You will die…”
|“you will destroy yourself.”
|“If you break the taboo, you will die”
|“I always thought…that someday…I’d fight along with…you all…”
|“I always thought…that someday…I could fight with you all”||“I always wanted…to fight with you…”||“I have always wanted to fight alongside all of you”|
|“If I’m going to be killed by Wiseman, then…I’ll do it myself!”
|Sounds oddly suicidal, Dimande! Should probably be “If someone has to kill Wiseman, then…I’ll do it myself!” (or maybe “If someone has to kill Sailor Moon, then I’ll do it myself,” seeing as he attacks her on the next page).||“Before I let Wiseman…I’ll do it myself!”||“And if Wiseman doesn’t finish the job I certainly will”|
|“my one and only heir apparent princess”
|“my one and only heir”
or something similar
|“You are my princess, my only heir.”||“You are the only one who can replace me when I am gone, because you are the princess.”|
|“the strength of heart and courage”
|“the strength of heart and the courage”||“I couldn’t keep a strong heart and the courage”||“And then, the insane criminal, Death Phantom, appeared. And he was strong willed and feared nothing. I couldn’t defeat him.”|
|“Small Lady, you are presently the only one that can take my place”
|“Small Lady, you’re the only one who can take my place now” or “Small Lady, you must take my place”||“Small Lady, right now, you are the only one who can take my place”||“Small Lady, if ever there was a time that we need you, it is now.”|
|“and limitless positive energy”
|“and the limitless positive energy”||“with its limitless energy”||“And soon, I will have the greatest power of all, once I take your ‘Silver Crystal’ to amplify the amount of negative energy this planet can generate!”|
|“It is only perfection if one possesses both. And it will allow one to control the entire universe!”
|“Only if you have both can you truly control the entire universe”||“With those two in hand, I am finally complete. I can conquer the universe.”||“Now that the both of you are within my grasp, my plans will go without a hitch. Soon I will become ruler of the entire universe!”|
|“It’s a miracle from the Queen”
|“The Queen has made a miracle”
or something similar
|“The Queen created a miracle!”||“The Queen made a miracle!”|
|“I will bestow a new power upon you…from this place here”
Noted by Moonkitty.net
|“I will grant you new power…from afar”
Moonkitty.net suggests “from here” to replace “from this place here,” but I chose “from afar” to emphasize the fact that Neo-Queen Serenity is giving Sailor Moon power from far away, since they can’t actually meet without changing history.
|“Sailor Moon. From here…I will give you your new power.”||“Sailor Moon. I will bestow you with new powers. But I must do it from afar.”|
|“You know, Usagi…ever since you and Mamo-chan started calling me Chibi-Usa…I really liked it a lot!”
|“You know, Usagi…ever since you guys started calling me Chibiusa…I’ve really started to like that name!”
or something similar
|“Bunny. I liked it when you and Darien…called me ‘Rini.'”||“…Even though you guys call me Chibiusa, I love you guys.”|
|“Usagi…I loved you the most! Of everyone!”
|“Usagi…I loved you better than anyone else!”
or something similar
|“Bunny, I liked you…the bestest of them all.”
Emphasis is in the original. Despite the grammar error here with “bestest,” I think it works here because it’s the kind of thing a kid Chibiusa’s age would say.
|“And Usagi, I love you the very, very most of all.”|
|“All unwanted presence will vanish”
(Vol. 6 preview)
|“All unwanted presences will vanish!”||“Extinguish the unneeded light. Remove the impurities.”||“Extinguish the useless light of others”|
*Due to the ongoing investigation of Megaupload by the FBI, I was unable to download the file of the Mixx version I usually use from Neo Nobility. So, for this and possibly several future reports, I will be using the raw scans of the Tokyopop version from Miss Dream rather than Neo Nobility’s Mixx scans.
Possible Issues on Several Pages
- “Chibiusa” is still unnecessarily hyphenated (i.e., written as “Chibi-usa”) throughout the volume.
- The Black Crystal is still called the “Malefic Black Crystal” throughout the volume.
- Multiple pages have Pluto referring to the area beyond the Space-Time Door as “the area between space-time.” Now, to use the conjunction “between” you have to have two things to compare, as in the phrase “between you and me.” There doesn’t seem to be a comparison here. And besides, I think it’s established elsewhere in canon that the area beyond the Space-Time Door is called the “Space-Time Corridor.” Mr. Flanagan may not have done his homework on this one.
Honorific Issues (Oddly Used, Not Needed)
No issues! But then honorifics aren’t used much in this volume anyway.
- Usagi’s brooch: Usagi’s brooch suddenly reappears on her bow in the bottom panel of page 157. But it shouldn’t be there, because the possessed Endymion ripped it off her chest on page 133 when Usagi told Black Lady she could have the Silver Crystal if she wanted to. Strangely, it disappears again after that panel, not reappearing until Usagi re-transforms on page 175 (using the Silver Crystal that was inside the brooch, which proves that – in the manga at least – it’s the Silver Crystal that gives Usagi the power to transform, not the brooches she wears. [The brooches seem to be mere protective containers for the Crystal in the manga; this is supported by Luna’s statement when Usagi gets the Crystal Star brooch and Neo-Queen Serenity’s words when she gives Usagi the Cosmic Heart Compact]. And yes, you can argue this even for the Dark Kingdom arc before she was revealed to be the Moon Princess; the Crystal came out of her body when she was revealed as Serenity, thus it was likely lying dormant inside her body the whole time. This is similar to the idea stated in the Special Act of PGSM, that without the Silver Crystal none of the girls can transform, not just Usagi [which reminds me of the W.I.T.C.H. comics, where the power for all the girls to transform came from leader Will’s Heart of Kandrakar]).
- The King’s cape: On page 160, Pluto says King Endymion’s cape is “the color of a sunrise.” However, on page 145 of volume 4, it was stated to be “the color of a sunset.” King Endymion’s cape is lavender. Not sure which is right, “sunrise” or “sunset,” since one could see purple in either instance. The original Japanese version of page 160 does not seem to have the kana for yoake (dawn/daybreak), hinode (sunrise), or yūyake (sunset), as far as I can tell.
- We Have the Princess: On page 13, Saphir tells Rubeus that “now that we have the princess” (meaning Usagi) there is no need to keep Sailors Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter alive. But as far as I know, there is no way Saphir could know Usagi was a princess. As far as I know, only Dimande out of all the Black Moon Clan knew Usagi was even the past form of Neo-Queen Serenity, and he only deduced that based on facial resemblance.
- Saphir’s “Ambiguous Loyalty” Moment: When talking with Usagi at the Black Moon Crystal (oh, excuse me, according to Kodansha it’s “Malefic Black Crystal”) reactor on page 25, Saphir almost seems to have a change of heart and side with Usagi, telling her she needs to warn others (supposedly about Nemesis, given the surrounding context). But then immediately after Saphir sends his “perfect Droids” to attack Usagi. A Second Chance for the Sailor Moon Manga noted this too, but blames it on TokyoPop’s translation and notes that Saphir thinks Usagi’s death will “serve a greater purpose.”
- Need a Dialogue Switch: On page 193, the line “Where’s Sailor Moon?! Where?!” is backwards in the dialogue bubble. For logical flow when reading this volume the way it is intended to be read (Japanese order, back to front, right to left), the two phrases should be most likely switched. Or, since the previous sentence is “Sailor Moon?!”, you could just have “Sailor Moon?! Where’s Sailor Moon?!” and eliminate the extra “Where?!” entirely. In the Japanese original, Chibimoon says “Sēra Mūn?! Sēra Mūn wa?! Doko!?” (“Sailor Moon?! Sailor Moon is?! Where!?”), so it appears Mr. Flanagan translated too literally. A better choice of words might’ve been “Sailor Moon?! Sailor Moon, where are you?” or something like that.
Credits: The lines from the Tokyopop English translation come from scans I obtained at Miss Dream. The examples given from Miss Dream’s translation belong, naturally, to Miss Dream. Tokyopop English manga (Sailor Moon) © 1996-1998 TokyoPop. Kodansha English manga (Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon) © 2011-2012 Kodansha USA, Kodansha Comics and William Flanagan. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (Japanese) © 1992-1997, 2003-2004 Naoko Takeuchi.