Written by Misty of Myu Corner
The following are errors that I found in the first printing of Volume 6 of Kodansha USA’s English release of the Sailor Moon manga. They are divided into sections for writing errors (presented in a table), possible issues on multiple pages, honorific issues, inconsistencies/continuity errors, and miscellaneous errors (presented as bulleted lists).
I am not in any way affiliated with Kodansha USA, Del Rey, William Flanagan, or any other person or entity involved in the translation, production, or publication of the volume critiqued here. I also do not mean these critiques as libel in any way, shape, or form, and hope that the persons and entities involved in the translation, production, or publication of the volume critiqued here will not take it as such.
(Awkward writing, grammar & syntax errors, etc)
|Possible Replacement||Tokyopop Translation*||Miss Dream translation|
|“Do not allow the light that shall lead to destruction, to awaken!”|
|Delete the comma: “Do not allow the light that shall lead to destruction to awaken!”||“Do not let the light of destruction awaken!”||“We shall awaken the light that leads to great destruction and ruin!”|
Hmm, something WAY different.
|“She’s the daughter of Mamo-chan and myself”|
|A little awkward. Maybe “She’s my and Mamo-chan’s daughter” or something similar||“She’s Darien and my daughter”|
(slight grammar error here, should be “Darien’s and my daughter”)
|“She’s actually me and Mamoru’s child.”|
|“She exited the park…to get her hat?!”|
|“She left the park…to get her hat?!”||“She went outside the park…to get her hat?!”||“She lost her hat and left the park to find it?!”|
|“The protector of the Planet of Fire, Mars, Guardian of War, Sailor Mars…and the protector of the Planet of Thunder, Jupiter, Guardian of Protection, Sailor Jupiter…have arrived!”|
|A bit of a run-on sentence. Should probably be “Protector of the planet Mars, Guardian of War, Sailor Mars…and Protector of the planet Jupiter, Guardian of Protection, Sailor Jupiter…have arrived!” or something similar.||“With the blessings of Mars, the planet of fire, the Scout of War, Sailor Mars…And with the blessings of Jupiter, the planet of lightning, the Scout of Protection, Sailor Jupiter…are here!”||“I am the Soldier of War and the guardian of the planet Mars, Sailor Mars! And I am the Soldier of Protection, the guardian of the planet Jupiter, Sailor Jupiter! And we’re here to stop you!!”|
|“Eudial of Witches 5″|
|Missing a word. Should be “Eudial of the Witches 5″||“Eudial of the Witches 5″||“the first of the Witches 5, Eudial”|
|“I’ve still got a lot of scars from then.”|
|“I’ve still got a lot of scars from back then.”||“I have a lot of scars.”||“I suffered many serious injuries.”|
|“Venus Planet Power: Make Up!”|
|The colon is not needed. This error also appeared in other Sailor Moon volumes as well as in Sailor V. This should be “Venus Planet Power! Make Up!” or just “Venus Planet Power Make-Up!”||“Venus Planet Power Make Up!”||“Venus Planet Power, Make Up!”|
|“Protector of the Planet of Beauty, Venus, the Guardian of Love, Sailor Venus, has arrived!”|
|This is the same error as mentioned previously on p. 122, where the sentence is a bit of a run-on. It should be something like “Protector of the planet Venus, the Guardian of Love, Sailor Venus, has arrived!”|
Ironically, despite using these run-on sentences here and on p. 122, the translator avoided a similar error when Uranus and Neptune introduce themselves at the end of Act 29, due to their intro phrases being broken up over several speech bubbles. However, that would be more of an art issue and thus may be more Naoko-san’s fault than the translator/editor’s.
|“With the blessings of Venus, the planet of beauty! The Scout of Love, Sailor Venus, is HERE!”||“I carry the protection of the planet Venus, I am the Soldier of Love, Sailor Venus!”|
|“Then you’re not…our allies”|
|This sentence is missing a period. It should be “Then you’re not…our allies.”||“You’re not…our allies?”||“Then you aren’t our allies?”|
|“They are legendary Guardians shrouded in mystery…who are said to have been protecting Silver Millennium from the far reaches…”|
|Might be better as two separate sentences: “They are legendary Guardians, shrouded in mystery. They are said to have protected the Silver Millennium from afar.”||“They were said to protect Silver Millennium from a distance. Legendary Scouts cloaked in mystery.”||“It is said that during the Silver Millennium they protected us from afar. They are soldiers of legend, cloaked in mystery.”|
|“I never imagined that they actually existed…let alone be reborn in the here and now.”|
|Needs to be reworded slightly. “I never imagined that they actually existed…let alone that they’d been reborn in the here and now.”||“I never really believed they existed. I can’t believe they were reborn.”||“But I never thought we’d run into them in the present day.”|
|“And to appear before us. I wonder if we’re in a time of crisis…”|
|“For them to appear before us like that…are we in a time of crisis, I wonder?” or something similar||“That they have reappeared here means this is an emergency.”||“But it seems that the legends are true. They’ve been reincarnated. There must be some kind of crisis they will be needed for.”|
*Due to the ongoing investigation of Megaupload by the FBI, I was unable to download the file of the Mixx version I usually use from Neo Nobility. So, for this and possibly several future reports, I will be using the raw scans of the Tokyopop version from Miss Dream rather than Neo Nobility’s Mixx scans.
Possible Issues on Several Pages
- Atavism: The term “atavism” is used in multiple places in this volume to refer to the Daimon attacks. The term is explained in the text by Usagi’s father in a simplistic way – “You know, mankind’s ancestors looked a lot like gorillas. So atavism means reverting back to that form” – to Chibiusa after she hears the term on a TV news broadcast.This explanation is not entirely inaccurate. The Oxford English Dictionary defines “atavism” as “resemblance to grand-parents or more remote ancestors rather than to parents; tendency to reproduce the ancestral type in animals or plants; recurrence of the disease or constitutional symptoms of an ancestor after the intermission of one or more generations.” This term has been used by psychologists to explain strange traits in children and the moral failings of criminals by attributing it to previously lost traits from human ancestors. [Source] It is also used in biology to refer to traits that reappear via evolutionary throwback, which can occur in many different ways, and is used to explain things like babies born with tails, people with large canine teeth, etc. [Source] The term comes from the French word atavisme, which in turn originates from the Latin word atav-us, which means “great-grandfather’s grandfather” or “an ancestor.” [Source]
- Anyways, this term is used throughout the volume to refer to the process of people turning into monsters, a.k.a. those creepy defective Daimon. You could say, yes, they are “reverting”/”mutating” into these icky, primal monsters and thus going back to some ancestral form of humanity. But I think some better, non-$64 million word would’ve been better. Even if they are targeting this manga to teens, they should still use vocabulary the average Joe would understand, right?
- Added note: Tokyopop uses the term “‘genetic regression,'” which, while still a complicated term, makes a LOT more sense and still communicates the same idea. Miss Dream goes with “primitive state,” which also works.
- Haruka & Michiru’s surnames: Throughout volume 6, including in the Table of Contents, Haruka and Michiru’s surnames are romanized as Ten’ô and Kaiô. Using a cirumflex (^) to indicate a long vowel in romanization is not wrong, and can in fact be easier to type on a computer, since the other common option – the macron (ē) – is often not part of standard symbol sets. Both the circumflex and macron methods do convey the pronunciation clearly, just not to Westerners who are not used to seeing said symbols. [Source] (The circumflex method was also used with Mimete’s civilian name, Mimi Hanyû).
- As Sea Sky, Wind Water points out, this difficulty with romanizing these two characters’ surnames is nothing new. Naoko-san tends to go with “Tenoh” and “Kaioh,” both of which are also correct, but Tennou, Ten’ou, Tenou and Kaiou have also been seen. Personally, I tend to prefer the Wapuro Hepburn method – the one created specifically for QWERTY keyboards – which simply spells the vowels out (i.e., Ten’ou, Kaiou, bishoujo, oneesan, etc). Since many fans are familiar with “Ten’ou” and “Kaiou” as romanizations of these names, I think those would’ve been the best choices.
- Use of Japanese & English terms together (noted by Moonkitty): In 2 instances (pages 35 and 48), Kodansha made a odd judgment call and included both the Japanese term and its English translation in the same speech bubble. On page 35, this is seen with Umino, who says “It’s a new private school located in the Mugen District [Infinity District] of Sankakusu [the Delta]…”. On page 48 this is seen with Mamoru calling the Mugen area “Mugenzu [Inifinity sandbank].” Also, the Japanese names for both the Mugen district and the Academy where the Death Busters’ HQ is tend to be used in the volume after this rather than being translated. That would be ok except that the chapter titles, also called “Mugen” in the original, are all called “Infinity,” the English translation of “Mugen.” So it’s inconsistent.
- Based on previous canon info, the area where the Death Busters are set up is called the Mugen Delta (or “Delta Zone” in the Mugen Gakuen musicals), so called because it is built on a triangular piece of land on Tokyo Bay (“delta” can be defined as “anything triangular, like the Greek capital delta (Δ)”) while the school is called Mugen Academy (“Infinity College” in Tokyopop). (Kodansha attempts to use “Mugen/Infinity District” here, which is actually not a bad alternative to make the meaning of the original clearer to Western readers). The Japanese terms for these are Mugen Sankakusu (無限三角州) and Mugen Gakuen (無限学園). The first literally means “Ain’t/Nil/None/Not/Nothing/Nothingness Limit/Restrict/To Best of Ability Three Angles/Antlers/Corner/Horn/Square Province/State,” while the other literally means “Ain’t/Nil/None/Not/Nothing/Nothingness Limit/Restrict/To Best of Ability Learning/Science/Study Farm/Garden/Park/Yard.” (Given the fact that the Death Busters were essentially “harvesting” energy from Mugen Gakuen students, the term “learning farm” seems eerily appropriate). So basically we have “No-Limit Three Corner State” and “No-Limit Learning Farm.” But mugen typically means “infinity” and gakuen “academy”, so those meanings are used in the Sailor Moon canon instead. (Also, “infinity” may not be the right translation; my source seemed to differentiate between 無限 [mugen] and 無限大 [mugendai], saying that the first meant “infinite” (as an adjective) while the second meant “infinity” as a noun. Maybe someone with better knowledge of Japanese can solve that conundrum).
- Added note: Miss Dream uses the terms “Infinity District” and “Infinity Academy” in their translation for Mugen Sankakusu and Mugen Gakuen. Tokyopop uses “Infinity Bank” (the “bank” apparently meaning a “sandbank”) and “Infinity College.”
- Hostes/Hosties: Throughout the volume the energy the Death Busters are taking from their victims is referred to as hostes. I believe Tokyopop used this term as well. William Flanagan provides a good explanation of the term’s meaning and entymology in the translation notes, and I also explored it myself in my Mugen Gakuen (Kaiteiban) guide for Myu Corner (check the trivia section). However, there is one small caveat here. In the translation notes, Flanagan mentions that the word in the original is accompanied by kanji meaning “sacred body” and a “pronunciation guide” (most likely furigana) reading osuti. Given this pronunciation, most likely the term being used here is not “hoste” but “hostie.” “Hostie” is an actual French word and matches the pronunciation given (the French pronunciation would be “ohs-tee”; the letter h is silent in French). The word means “host” but refers specifically to the concecrated wafer served during Communion [Source], believed by Catholics to be the real body of Christ (or “host”) substituted for the bread/wafer. (This word also appears in German, Spanish, and archaic English with the same meaning). As Flanagan mentions, the term does originate from Latin, from the word hostia, which does mean “victim” or “sacrifice” as he says, and came into French via the Old French word oiste. [Source] (Though I’m not sure where he got the thing about the tie between the word hostia and pagan practices of human sacrifice). Flanagan acts as if the word choice was stylistic (writing “Somehow, the sound, the kanji meaning and the story of the word’s origin seemed to fit with the story”) but I kind of doubt it, considering he didn’t even get the term that was used right.
- Added note: After some investigation using Miss Dream’s raws, I’ve determined that the kanji Flanagan refers to is 霊体, used by Kaolinite on p. 51 when talking to the Witches 5. These kanji are read as “seitai” (though it seems the first one can also be read as “rei” in some instances, such as 霊体験 [reitaiken, “experience of seeing a ghost”]) and literally mean “soul/spirits body/counter for images/object/reality/substance.” But “sei” did also come up when I did a search for the English word “sacred,” so I can see where Flanagan would get the “sacred body” definition from that he refers to in his notes (it’s also used in words like seika, “sacred fire”). This kanji is also used in the Mugen Gakuen myus for Mistress 9’s song “Seijaku no Hostie,” which is actually written as “Seijaku no Hostie (Seitai)” (静寂のオスティー（聖体）) when the song’s title is shown onscreen in the recorded myu. This makes sense, as the terms seitai and hostie are used interchangeably in those myus. Also, the Japanese kanji was probably provided because hostie is a loanword that not everyone watching the video release might recognize. To make things slightly easier though, furigana is given for the seitai kanji, spelling it out in hiragana (せいたい) to clarify the meaning and pronunciation.
- And sure enough, if you look next to the seitai kanji in the Japanese manga, there are little furigana symbols – katakana, indicating this is a loanword – reading オスチイ (osutii; this could also be read as osuchii since ti does not apparently exist in hiragana and katakana and is read as “chi” instead). [Sources: Denshi Jisho, Wikipedia’s Table of Hiragana, Wikipedia’s Table of Katakana, Wikimoon, Eternalruth, and Miss Dream’s Raws section]
- On page 39, Mamoru says he will protect “Naru-chan and Umino” while the Senshi fight. It seems weird that he would use a honorific for one and not for the other, considering he probably doesn’t know Naru and Umino as well as Usagi and the girls do.
- Moon Power (p.167)
- This occurs when Minako disguises herself as a Mugen Gakuen student to sneak into Mimi Hanyu’s concert, using her compact from her time as Sailor V. However, this is a continuity error, because in the Sailor V manga she used the phrase “Crescent Moon Power Transform” to disguise herself, not “Moon Power” (she used “Moon Power Transform” to become Sailor V). It’s worth noting that Tokyopop’s version also contains this error, which makes one wonder whether her phrase for disguising herself has changed between Sailor V and Sailor Moon.
- On page 196, the term “the god of destruction” is used to refer to the destructive being mentioned in Mamoru and Rei’s dreams; however, this is inconsistent with the phrase “deity of destruction” used elsewhere in the volume.
- On page 67, Chibiusa seems to not be able to read the sign on Tomoe’s lab. This seems weird to me since she is supposedly in second grade in our century and has presumably been educated in her century.
- Michiru’s violin is called the “Marine Cathedral” on page 166. I had always understood it to be called the Marine Cathédrale elsewhere in canon. The name of it in Japanese is written in katakana as マリン・カテドラル (Marin Katedoraru). The word katedoraru could be argued to be approximating either the English word “cathedral” or the French word “cathédrale,” so I guess Kodansha erred on the side of caution and went with the English word. (If the name was French, it would be Cathédrale Marine anyway, since adjectives usually come after the nouns they modify in French). The translation given for the name on the same page is incorrect though; “Marine Cathédrale” means “Cathedral of the sea,” not “temple of the sea” (that would be temple marine).
- As noted above, the term written as hoste in the text and in the translation note on page 235 should be hostie.
Honorific Issues (Oddly Used, Not Needed)
Credits: The lines from the Tokyopop English translation come from scans I obtained at Miss Dream. The examples given from Miss Dream’s translation belong, naturally, to Miss Dream. Tokyopop English manga (Sailor Moon) © 1996-1998 TokyoPop. Kodansha English manga (Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon) © 2011-2012 Kodansha USA, Kodansha Comics and William Flanagan. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (Japanese) © 1992-1997, 2003-2004 Naoko Takeuchi.