Written by Misty of Myu Corner
The following are errors that I found in the first printing of Volume 11 of Kodansha USA’s English release of the Sailor Moon manga. They are divided into sections for writing errors (presented in a table), possible issues on multiple pages, honorific issues, inconsistencies/continuity errors, and miscellaneous errors (presented as bulleted lists).
I am not in any way affiliated with Kodansha USA, Del Rey, William Flanagan, Mari Morimoto, or any other person or entity involved in the translation, production, or publication of the volume critiqued here. I also do not mean these critiques as libel in any way, shape, or form, and hope that the persons and entities involved in the translation, production, or publication of the volume critiqued here will not take them as such.
(Awkward writing, grammar & syntax errors, etc)
|Possible Replacement||Tokyopop Translation*||Miss Dream translation|
|“There’s been one every night, lately”|
|Lose the comma: “There’s been one every night lately…”||“There goes…another one. So many these days…”||“Another meteor shower, seems like they are happening every day now.”|
|“So this is the light of the Silver Moon Crystal and Golden Crystal, eh…”|
|Needs an article: “So this is the light of the Silver Moon Crystal and the Golden Crystal, eh…”||“How beautiful…The lights of the Silver Moon Crystal and Golden Crystal.”||“Such a beautiful light, the light of the Silver and Golden Crystals”|
|“Aah, I feel so excited! About school life!”|
|Needs to be one sentence: “Aah, I feel so excited about school life!”||“Back to high school! It’s so exciting!”||“My heart is fluttering at the thought of returning to school life!”|
|“…so that was today, huh?”|
|“So” should be capitalized: “…So that was today, huh?”||“Seeing Darien off?”||“Mamoru’s going away party?!”|
|“We just took back and restored peace, you know!”|
|“We just took back the Earth and restored peace, you know!” or something similar||“We’ve fought a hard battle to get here!”||“We’re at peace again, aren’t we?”|
|“I’m sure Their Highnesses will be thrilled.”|
|Chibiusa’s parents are King Endymion and Neo-Queen Serenity, so it should be “Majesties,” not “Highnesses” (which is what one would use with a prince and princess, not a king and queen). Therefore, the sentence should be “I’m sure Their Majesties will be thrilled.”|
Really, Pluto, you should know better. ;)
|“They’ll love that.”||“Those two will be really happy to see you again.”|
|“transferred into our school”|
|“transferred to our school”||“transferred to our school”||“The Three Lights are new transfer students at our school!!”|
|“I’d like to join?”|
|The question mark should be a period: “I’d like to join.”||“I’d like to join.”||“I’d like to join your club”|
|“But if you continue to be unsettled and your hearts agitated and falling apart…”|
|“But if you remain unsettled, with your hearts agitated and falling apart…” or something similar||“But you will never beat Sailor Galaxia’s Shadow Galactica, losing your calm like that.”||“But if you continue to lack composure and stay as confused and emotional as you are now”|
|“And that’s why we have no need of menfolk.”|
|Not wrong, just archaic. Something like “And that’s why we don’t need men” would be better.||“Actually, we…don’t need any men.”||“That’s right, and because of that, we don’t need boys to get along.”|
|“And in exchange for the Sailor Crystals of Solar System Sailor Guardians”|
|There should be a “the” in front of “Solar”: “And in exchange for the Sailor Crystals of the Solar System Sailor Guardians.”|
(Also see my note about “Solar System” below).
|“in exchange for the Sailor Crystals of the solar Sailor Scouts.”||“In exchange for the Sailor Crystals of the Sailor Soldiers of this solar system”|
|“Luna, Artemis, watch over Princess and Hotaru for a little while, eh?”|
|Same problem as above, a missing article: “Luna, Artemis, watch over the Princess and Hotaru for a little while, eh?”||“Luna and Artemis will watch after you and princess.”||“Luna, Artemis, please keep an eye on Hotaru and the princess.”|
|“And she lived in Libya the past three years”|
|“And she has lived in Libya the past three years” or “And she has been living in Libya the past three years.”||“Kitty spent three years in Libya.”||“Ms. Suzu lived with merchants for three years in Libya.”|
|“Solar System ruler Queen Serenity of Silver Millennium”|
|“Queen Serenity of the Silver Millennium, ruler of our solar system” or something similar|
(Also see my note about “Solar System” below).
|“Ruler of this solar system…Queen of the Silver Millennium…Queen Serenity”||“Even as the Silver Millennium was declining throughout the solar system, Queen Serenity”|
|Spelling error; should be “Princess” not “Princes.”|
(Also see my note about “Kakyu” below).
|“Princess Kakyu”||“Princess Kakyuu”|
*Due to the ongoing investigation of Megaupload by the FBI, I was unable to download the file of the Mixx version I usually use from Neo Nobility. So, for this and possibly several future reports, I will be using the raw scans of the Tokyopop version from Miss Dream rather than Neo Nobility’s Mixx scans.
Possible Issues on Several Pages
- In several places, the name “Three Lights” (referring to the Starlights’ band) is used without an article in front of it. This is ok in certain sentences, but in others (like “That’s Three Lights!” on page 33), the article “the” should be present for the sentence to make sense.
- Throughout this volume, the term “Solar System” is used to refer to our solar system. While this is not incorrect, it is very vague, since many solar systems exist throughout our galaxy in real life – and in this manga as well. Other parts of the Sailor Moon canon, like the musicals, have used “Sol System” (taiyoukei in Japanese) to refer to our solar system, as I pointed out in the guide for volume 10, so that term might have been better. Or you could say “our solar system” to make it more specific.
- Throughout this volume, the Sailor Starlights are referred to erroneously as the “Sailor Star Lights” or the “Star Lights.” The proper romanization, as I understand it, is “Sailor Starlights” or “Starlights.”
- Similar to the “Star Lights” mistake above, the Sailor Animamates are referred to throughout the volume as the “Sailor Anima Mates” or the “Anima Mates,” when it should be “Sailor Animamates” or “Animamates.”
- Princess Kakyuu’s name is rendered throughout the volume as “Kakyu,” without even a circumflex to indicate the long vowel, as is done with the Three Lights’ names (Kô Seiya, etc) and other names with long vowels in this volume. I did a check of the Japanese characters (火球) on jisho.org and the romanization came back as “kakyuu,” with 2 u’s. Therefore it should be “Kakyuu,” or at best “Kakyû”, to match the romanization style of the volume (see below).
- This volume features the same strange romanization thing as volume 6 did, where a circumflex (^) is used to indicate a long vowel, as was done in volume 6 with Uranus and Neptune’s civilian names (Ten’ô Haruka and Kaiô Michiru) and Mimete’s idol name (Mimi Hanyû). This is used throughout the volume for the Starlights’ civilian names (Kô Seiya, Kô Taiki and Kô Yaten) and on page 218 to refer to the planet Iron Mouse is from (Chû/Chuu). According to Ian Miller of Dies Gaudii, the use of the circumflex in romanization is typical of the Kunrei system, the romanization system used by the Japanese government and in linguistic works such as textbooks. [Source] However, as I pointed out in the volume 6 guide, most Westerners are not used to seeing the circumflex used in this way, although it is easier to use a circumflex since the macron (the other option) does not often appear in standard symbol sets on computers, while the circumflex does. [Source]
Honorific Issues (Oddly Used, Not Needed)
- The weird “Mako-chan-sempai” thing from volume 7 pops up again on page 21 of this volume.
- On page 48, when Usagi transforms into Eternal Sailor Moon, she uses the phrase “Moon Eternal…Make Up!”. This is inconsistent with the rest of this volume and the rest of the Stars manga arc in general, where she uses the phrase “Silver Moon Crystal Power, Make Up” to transform into Eternal Sailor Moon. The musicals also tend to use the manga phrase, or some variation, like at the beginning of “Link” (in the original Kaguya myu only, not the Kaiteiban) when she transforms into Eternal Moon using “Silver Moon Crystal Eternal Power, Make Up.” “Moon Eternal, Make Up” was only used in the anime.
- No miscellaneous errors this time. Wow!
Credits: The lines from the Tokyopop English translation come from scans I obtained at Miss Dream. The examples given from Miss Dream’s translation belong, naturally, to Miss Dream. Tokyopop English manga (Sailor Moon) © 1996-1998 TokyoPop. Kodansha English manga (Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon) © 2011-2013 Kodansha USA, Kodansha Comics, William Flanagan, and Mari Morimoto. Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (Japanese) © 1992-1997, 2003-2004 Naoko Takeuchi.